Please Don't Do This!
by Spacepeeps
Summary: Everyone knows how Lance feels like the seventh wheel. But what if it's not him who's really hurting? Pidge feels alone and ignored, and to make matters worse no one has noticed how thin and tired she looks. Will the paladin be able to get through to her before it's too late? Protective paladins! Mentions of cutting and starvation. Rated T just to be safe. R&R!


_Ok, and here we are again! I got this idea from talking to a new friend of mine I met on here (Tiggerlily2213 If your reading about this, I'm talking about you my girl) while we were ranting about how much more recognition and appreciation Pidge deserves. Honestly, I feel like the other paladins only talk to her now when they want information or computer stats or something. So I'm writing a fanfic where the paladins actually care about our favorite smol bean. Enjoy, please and thank you. _

**_Warning: This contains cutting and some starvation, though nothing too extreme. If you decide its too much for you at any point, I completely understand. Just exit out of this story and go check out my other ones! (If you love Pidge fluff, of course, I write a lot of that lol)_**

**_Disclaimer: If I owned Voltron I would've done a better job with season 8, made Klance happen, never made Allura a paladin, be making a season 9, and having the paladins protect Pidge more._**

* * *

Dinner was the first time they noticed something was wrong.

"Come on Pidge! Try some goo! It's amazing!" Lance cried, cheeks bulging with the green sludge as it dribbled down his chin. "Issss good!"

Keith nodded, not glancing up from his own bowl of goop. "Yeah Pidge, you should eat something." Keith shoved another spoonful into his mouth. "You'll need the energy if you're going to hack into the Galra's mainframe in less than 24 hours." He took another bite. "That really is a lot of work you know."

Pidge glanced at Keith with an awkward smile. "Sure thing. I'll get started on that right away." Pidge waved her hand at the bowl, shooing it away. "Thanks, but no thanks, Lance. Keith is right. I should get to hacking as soon as possible." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Keith nod in agreement. Her gaze flickered down to her lap. "Besides, I'm not hungry."

Lance looked at her quizzically. "Awwww, come on! You haven't been hungry for days!" Lance glanced her up and down. His brows furrowed with frustration. "Have you been eating?"

Pidge rolled her eyes. "Yes, Lance. I've been taking it to my room." The young girl glared at him. "Now PLEASE leave me alone." Her demeanor suddenly changed as she stood up with such force that her chair flew backward. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to do my job."

Lance watched Pidge storm out of the room. "What's up with her?" He murmured. The rest of the paladins merely shrugged in response. _'She'll be back to normal tomorrow.' _Lance concluded, settling down to finish the rest of his meal.

* * *

But the thing was, Pidge didn't go back to normal. She became more withdrawn, more angry, and more aggressive. She had lost 30 pounds in the last month and was now down to the dangerous weight of 60 lbs. Pidge had started crying herself to sleep at night, and would often awake with crusty cheeks from the tears the night before. But the worst part was, no one even seemed to notice. The rest of the paladins went about their day like normal while Pidge was suffering in silence. And she felt that she deserved it. All she was to them was a hacker. Nothing more.

* * *

Many nights later, after a particularly bad day, Pidge had been walking to the bathroom across the hall to get towels and bandages to cover up her bleeding wrist when she heard sobbing from down the hall. She stiffened, listening to the pained cries that came from the blue paladin's room.

Pidge winced. She may not mean anything to the others, but they meant everything to her. They were the only family she had left, and she was willing to let her wrist bleed a little while longer if it meant calming Lance down.

Pidge walked carefully to Lance's room and waited as the door slowly slid open to reveal a cowering Lance huddled in bed.

"Hey, buddy?" Pidge asked, standing awkwardly in the doorway.

Lance shot up from under the covers, his face red and splotchy. "Oh. Pidge. It's just you."

_'Yep.' _Pidge thought, glancing down at her bloodstained fingers. _'Just me.'_

Forcing a smile, Pidge decided to push her negative feelings aside for Lance's sake. "Hey, what's wrong?" She asked, coming across the room to sit beside him.

Lance sniffled. "Nothing." He snapped, flopping down and turning over in his bed so his back faced her. "Just leave me alone."

Pidge sighed. "Lance, just tell me. There's no use hiding it. I know something's up." She was holding her wrist as tight as she could in order not to let any blood slip through, but it wouldn't last for much longer. Already small drops were seeping through the cracks in her hand and staining the sleeves of her pajama shirt.

Lance rolled over so he was facing Pidge. He studied at her for a moment before curling up into a ball. "It's just...sometimes I feel useless, you know? Like I'm not a valuable part of the team." Lance glanced at her with sorrowful eyes. "I mean, Keith's always doing important dangerous stuff or whatever, Hunk's our big lovable teddy bear and the cook, Shiro's our level headed leader, you're our hacker, and I'm just...nothing."

Lance looked up at Pidge, expecting her to give some consolation or compliments, but they never came. "Uh, Pidge?" Lance asked nervously, nudging her with his finger. "Are you ok?"

That was when Pidge broke. All of those bottled up emotions, all that pain, all of her feelings, they all came bubbling up to the surface and exploding like a volcano. "No Lance, I am not ok." She answered, her voice dripping with venom. "How could you be so _selfish!"_

Pidge whirled around to face the blue paladin, her eyes full of pure rage. "EVERYONE ON THIS SHIP HAS MADE IT CLEAR THAT YOU ARE LOVED! THEY ALL HANG OUT WITH YOU, THEY ALL CARE FOR YOU WHEN YOU'RE HURT, AND THEY'VE ALL ACKNOWLEDGED THAT YOU'RE A VALUABLE MEMBER OF THE TEAM! DON'T YOU GET IT?" Pidge glared ferociously at Lance. "YOU HAVE EVERYTHING! YOU HAVE PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE, YOU HAVE A GREAT FAMILY, A GREAT PERSONALITY! WHAT IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU HAVE TO BE SAD ABOUT?"

Pidge panted as Lance stared at her with wide eyes. "Pidge-" he started, but she held up a hand.

"I'm not finished yet." She growled. "But of course you wouldn't know that, now would you? I don't have feelings. I'm only the hacker of the group!"

"Pidge, what are you talking about?" Lance exclaimed, straightening up on the bed and looked at his friend with concern.

Pidge couldn't take it anymore. "THEY ONLY TIME ANY OF YOU TALK TO ME OR ACKNOWLEDGE MY EXISTENCE IS WHEN YOU NEED A COMPUTER HACKED, OR A CODE DECIPHERED! I CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU, YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME! THE ONLY REASON IM HERE IS BECAUSE YOU NEED ME TO FIGURE THINGS OUT!"

"Pidge!" Lance interrupted, putting both of his hands on her shoulders. "Don't you dare say we don't care! We do care, and that's a fact!"

Pidge pushed Lance off of her with her one hand. "Is that so?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. Lanced watched her silently, knowing there was more. "Because I've been STARVING myself, BEATING myself, CRYING myself to sleep, AND TORTURING MYSELF EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! AND DO YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE I DESERVE IT!" Tears rose to Pidge's eyes. "All I am to you guys is a computer hacker." Unable to take it any longer, Pidge let go of her wrist and let the waterfall of blood roll down her fingertips and onto the carpet. "This, Lance," She said in barely a whisper. "This is what true pain is."

* * *

Lance stared dumbfoundedly at the cut gushing blood on Pidge's wrist. He had never thought in a million years that his little green friend would ever feel this way. "GUYS!" Lance screamed at the top of his lungs. "GET IN HERE!"

"LANCE!" Pidge yelled. "What the hell! Don't drag the others into this!"

"Pidge," Lance said. "You've been _cutting yourself. _Why would you EVER think that that's ok?!"

Pidge scoffed. "You guys never cared about me." Lance's eyes widened. "So why should I care about myself."

"Oh, baby girl!" Lance whispered, grabbing Pidge and pulling her into a strong embrace. "We do care about you, more than anyone in the galaxy."

Pidge grunted, pulling away from the hug. "Yeah? Well, you guys sure have a funny way of showing it."

Lance nearly burst into tears right then in there, but he had to keep himself together, if not for his own sake then for Pidge.

"Look..."

Before he could get another word out the door slid open to reveal three sleepy paladins all standing out in the hallway. Almost instantly, Shiro, Hunk, and Keith all saw the blood pouring out of their youngest member like a waterfall.

Pidge stared at her wrist, then back at the horrified faces of the other paladins. _'Great,' _She thought. _'Now I've screwed up again.'_

* * *

_Woah. Pretty dark stuff, huh. So my friend Tiggerlily2213 and I were discussing how the only attention Pidge gets from the other paladins is when they need her to do computer stuff or something like that, and we did not like it. I mean seriously, she's there youngest member! The only reason I watched this show all the way through was because I was hoping, **praying, **that there would be an episode where the paladins would protect Pidge, but that never came (But season 7 episode 3 came pretty close) we were also discussing how Lance's angst didn't make very much sense in the series. I mean, all of the paladins have comforted him, taken care of him when he's hurt and all that jazz. Pidge, however, her angst story would make wayyyy more sense because the only thing the paladins use her for is hacking and junk like that. I just think we didn't get enough Pidge moments in this series because it literally all revolved around Allura (UHHHH I HATED HER) and they didn't focus on the REAL girl main character (WHICH IS MY LITTLE SMOL BEAN!) Anyway, I hope you enjoyed Pidge angst! (Don't worry, the paladins will be very protective and comforting to Pidge in the next chapters, lots a fluff, I assure you. So if you're into the paladins caring about Pidge, stick around!_


End file.
